My favorite TV show is True Blood. I know, I know True Blood is a trashy vampire drama filled with sex and violence. That’s why I love it! True Blood is the ultimate in guilty pleasure. You know on 24 how Jack Bauer’s running around saving the world and you have to pay attention or you’ll miss that the president is in cahoots with the alien overlord from Mars or something. True Blood isn’t like that. You don’t really have to pay attention. If you have the brain power to inhale oxygen you can watch this show.
|That is her brother cousin....and husband.|
One of the best things about True Blood is that they can mock every Southern stereotype and get away with it. They have the cute blond waitress who likes to say “Oh my stars!” and “Bless your little heart” as often as possible, the guy in his 20’s who peeked in high school and still brags about his football record, the older generation who are eternally pissed that the Confederacy failed, the white trash drug dealers and drug addicts (they could provide addicts for Intervention for three solid decades with the drug addicts just in Bon Temps), the town cops who make Boss Hogg look like Horatio Caine, the religious zealots, and, my personal favorite, the inbred meth dealers who all live in a little community where family members are “uncle daddy” and “sister cousin”. You will never see a normal, well-adjusted individual on this show. Just when you think maybe this one might be someone you’d friend on Facebook he turns out to be a shape shifting weresnake serial killer man whore enslaved by a witch fairy who drinks vampire blood on the weekends. On second thought, I think I will send that friend request.
|Yes, I will donate a pint to keep the|
vampire race alive.
|Mr. Werewolf, I'll be your|
kitty any day.
The single greatest reason to watch True Blood is all the exposed man flesh. The producers of this show know their viewership is mostly female and play into our primal need to see insanely hot men running around half-naked. For that, I’d just like to say, thank you. I don’t really care if they chase cats in their sleep or live on a diet of leggy blonds, these men are gorgeous!! Every week it’s like watching a parade of my Top Ten list. There’s a megawatt hot Viking vampire, an extremely pretty man whore high school football star, a sweet as sugar bar owner with a shady past and a ripped out ultra-sexy werewolf. And just for fun they throw in a decent looking male witch and a not half-bad Civil War era vampire who is an absolute gentleman to everyone he meets.
Seriously, who wouldn’t love this show! Yes, yes I know it travels down a few roads you don’t normally talk about at church, but really, the theme of True Blood is acceptance. Vampires, weres, fairies, witches, shape-shifters and inbred meth dealer all just want to be part of society. They want to feel loved and welcome. Until that day they’ll just have to settle for sucking the life out of cheerleaders, being a slave to the moon, living as walking vampire crack which is what faeries really are, being possessed by the spirit of a long dead witch, going for a gallop by the lake and procreating with their brother uncles.