My favorite place in the whole wide world is Disneyland. I have visited the magic kingdom more than 230 times and have owned an annual pass since I was five. I don’t live in Anaheim. I’ve never lived in Anaheim. In fact, I live over two hundred miles away from my personal utopia. To say I’m a fan would be putting it mildly. I can tell you what time of day a certain ride will be the busiest depending on the time of year. I can tell you where every bathroom and drinking fountain is. I can tell you who the people are whose names are painted on the windows above Main Street U.S.A. I can tell you that there is an apartment above the fire house where Walt used to stay when he’d visit the park. I can tell you the spires on the castle are plated in gold except for one because, according to Mr. Disney, as long as there is imagination Disneyland will never be finished.
When I go, I don’t have to fight crowds or long lines because I don’t go during the busy times of the year. I don’t go when it will be too hot. I see Disneyland the way it was meant to be seen, as a magical place where anything is possible. There are a few things I don’t like about Disneyland. Number one top of the list would be the cost of food and souvenirs. To feed a family of four at the park for three days requires a second and third mortgage and a five year term as an indentured servant. My brother says that every time he goes to Disneyland he has to be prepared to bend over, grab his ankles, and get “Walted”. There are a few ways you can save money at Disneyland. You can not eat and blind fold your kids so they can’t ask you for everything from a t-shirt to an official Mickey Mouse butt scratcher.
Despite the wallet rape, Disneyland is a pretty wonderful place. Disneyland provides a place where families of all ages and sizes can go to spend time together. You don’t have to worry about the safety of your kids. You don’t have to worry about exposing your children to something they shouldn’t see (unless you go during Halloween in which case you will see women in their twenties and thirties dressed as hookerfied versions of Disney princesses). The best thing about Disneyland is that, for me, I can feel like a kid. I know when I go I will end up spending the GNP of a small country and I’m OK with that. At Disneyland I feel like the outside world disappears and the only things that are real are my family, the mouse, and a fifteen dollar churro.