Meet Horndog!!

Horndog

Bio: Horndog is the mouth of the Rat Bastards. The guy just doesn’t know when to shut the freak up. Horndog is Catholic and attends mass whenever he can.  He is an excellent soldier, but, unlike some of his fellow Rat Bastards, he can leave the internal conflict on the battlefield . Often, when a situation gets too intense, Horndog is there with an inappropriate comment to lighten the mood. He specializes in explosives. He started blowing shit up when he was about ten years old and has never really grown out of that stage. His name may indicate that he has questionable morals, but Horndog has his own secrets.

Character Bio Questionnaire

Name:  Anna Eleanor Roosevelt, 34th First Lady of the United States of America.

Rat Bastard Name: Horndog

How did you get your Rat Bastard name? A nun gave it to me. I am not kidding.

Occupation: Marine, Rat Bastard, God’s gift to women.

Relationship Status: I’m not in a relationship. You wanna know why? Because Hell Kat is worse than Mother Superior when it comes to the virginity of her staff.

Age: Chronologically 32, mentally 14

Hair Color: Tweed. It’s blond, brown, red, black, pretty much every color in the hair color spectrum.

Eye Color: Sissy says they’re the color of Coke in the summer. They could be red and I wouldn’t care, just as long as she likes them.

Height: 6’3”  I am the perfect height.

Weight: I weigh in at around 220. I’m not as big as Shooter or Martinez, I think they were grown in some government lab, but I’m pretty sure I could kick you and all your friend’s asses if I had to.

Motto: Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow you will die.

Distinguishing Marks: My face. I’m pretty damn stunning. There’s no hiding all this sexy.

Favorite Weapon: My smolder. Hah! Just kidding, a brick of C4. Nothing says, “I’m he-re,” like a brick of C4.

Best Friend: Shooter. And not just because he saved my life last week when Hell Kat caught me and Sissy alone in my bedroom. Get your mind out of the gutter! I was helping her change my sheets. What? That's all we were doing. I'm serious! 

Worst Enemy: Hell Kat. Not because she's Satan's disciplinarian, I actually find that kind of sexy, Hell Kat and I don't get along because she thinks Sissy needs to be saved from me and I think Sissy needs to be ravaged by me.

Last Song Played On My iPod: Single Ladies by Beyonce. I’ve got that dance down cold. You wanna see?

Favorite Movie: The Hangover. Cinematic genius.

Favorite Quote: “Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.” -Mae West

Last Facebook Post: Yes, I admit it. I want to see the Dalai Lama arm wrestle the Pope.

Ten things you should know about Me:

10. I may be a barrel full of laughs, but that won’t stop me from ripping your trachea out with my teeth.

9. Yes, I have an obscene amount of information regarding women’s fashion locked inside my brain. That does not make me gay. It gives me an excuse to accompany women into dressing rooms.

8. I am not a man whore.

7. Disrespect Sissy, Sam, Lilly, Amanda, Edna Mae, Hell Kat, or any other woman in my presence and be prepared to kiss the floor. I don't disrespect women, I worship women.

6. Women are Gods way of saying thank you to mankind.

5. I am the only person allowed to tease Shooter. If you tease Shooter, I will hurt you.

4. I once drove a Humvee through my CO’s bedroom window and blamed it on the Company dog. It worked.

3. I don’t drink. I take the video and post it on YouTube.

2. Allison is my reason for living.

1.  I will never tell you about Allison.