Thursday, August 4, 2011

Martinez vs. The Rat Bastards

It's Martinez's turn to be deep fried. Martinez isn't really a Rat Bastard, yet. The Bastard's feel it is their duty to give him hell until he is a real Rat Bastard. Have fun.

Martinez: OK, look guys, I know you have to give me shit because I’m not technically a Rat Bastards, but really, I’m not in the mood.

Horndog: Dude, you just signed your own death warrant.

Martinez: I hate you Horndog.

Dude, I think she really likes me.
Horndog: I guess I’ll go first then. Marty, why did you visit that whorehouse in Cambodia? I warned you about the wicked case of crotch rot they’re famous for.

Martinez: I’ve never been to Cambodia.

Horndog: Then how come Doc had to get you that special cream?

Martinez: Sand, Horndog, the rash was from sand.

Horndog: Whatever, I know you were tapping some infected Cambodian piece of tail. *Martinez gives Horndog the finger* Next.

Tongue: Marty, how long have you sucked your thumb?

Martinez: How long have you wet the bed Tongue?

Tongue: I don’t wet the bed!

Hell Kat: Yeah, he stopped when he was ten.

Tongue: Have I told you how much I hate you today?

Hell Kat: Twice. Marty, do you always cry when you watch Sleepless in Seattle or was that a one-time thing?

Martinez: Do you always cry when you watch Apocalypse Now?

Hell Kat: Yes I do.

Doc: Now, now it’s not unmanly to have a good cry once in a while. Marty, do you have Gossip Girl on DVD?

Martinez: Why? Do you want to borrow it?

Doc: No, I just want to know if you own the discs or if you keep it archived on your DVR.

Switch: Can we move on please! Martinez, I heard Shooter made you take ballet. Is that true?

Martinez: Yes, it is true and those classes are the reason I kicked your ass in the ring last week.

The Rat Bastard's nine to five
Switch: If I’d been trying, you’d be dead.

Shooter: Martinez, I’d advise you to keep your mouth shut. My turn. Why do you want to be a Rat Bastard?

Martinez: I’ve only ever loved one person and she died. She died because of me. Since then I’ve been floating along like a feather in the wind. I want to be part of a whole. That’s why I take all your shit. I’m willing to do just about anything to be a Rat Bastard, including putting up with Horndog’s mouth.

Horndog: I knew you were a Nancy.


  1. I've been meaning to comment about your Rat Bastards. I LOVE them. Keep the interviews coming. They are great!

    I truly have falling in love. Thanks.

  2. You're welcome. Keep them coming. I haven't decided my favorite...yet!