Everyone has asked themselves this question at one time or another. Is love finding the one person who completes you or is love resisting the temptation to throttle that person you wake up to every morning? I know there are different types of love, but are there different levels? Is love an all or nothing deal or can it be given out in measured doses?
Love and I have never had a good relationship. I’ve felt love and I’ve given love but I’ve always had a hard time trusting love. Love is terrifying. In my mind, when I picture love I imagine a body ripped in half, exposed and bloody. Allowing yourself to love someone is like painting a target on your chest then handing someone the weapon with which to slay you. Love is awful! But it’s also pretty freaking great. I love love once I allow myself to leap into the abyss. That leap does not come easily. I have to talk myself into believing that it will be OK, that someone will be there to catch me. I have this fear that the person I’m trusting will say, “Just kidding,” just as I leave the cliff and I’ll splatter on the flagstone below.
In my opinion there aren’t levels to love. Love is a complete surrender. Love is the end. You’re putting your everything in the hands of someone else and trusting that person to treat it with care. How does anyone do that? I know I’ve done it before, but can I do it again? I really don’t know. Until I decide I’m going to sit here and discuss this quandary with my life long loves, Ben and Jerry.