HORNY WEDNESDAY!!

Good morning Horndoggers! How's you're week been. Mine has been stellar. Sissy and I got "locked" in one of the secret rooms at Boudreaux house. It took Hell Kat and Shooter an hour to get us out. Hell Kat kicked my ass. For an hour alone with Sissy, I'll happily take the beating. Any way, it’s time for another brilliant installment of I’m a Complete Idiot at Love.

Dear Horndog,

So, there’s this guy. I like him a lot, but I don’t know if he likes me. He acts like he does. He fixed my car for free. I asked him to hang up my Christmas lights and he happily did. I work from home and he knows that sometimes I get too busy to make food so he brings dinner to me. He shovels out my driveway. I don’t even have to ask him. He just does it. The other day he gave me a hug goodbye. He lingered and pulled me in really tight. I really, really like him. Does he like me?

Sincerely,

Confused

Dear Confused,

Every time a letter begins with, “So, there’s this guy…” I have to sit back, take a deep breath, and prepare myself for the onslaught of female neuroses. It’s okay. That’s why I’m here. The entire reason I take-over Harper’s blog once a week is so I can take a complete idiot by the hand and lead her to water. This week you’re the complete idiot. Don’t feel bad. Hell Kat tells me I’m an idiot at least seventy-five times a day.

Let me ask you a question. If I said to you that there was this girl who makes me dinner, does my grocery shopping, washes my clothes, and likes to play Call of Duty with me (the male equivalent of a linger longer hug), would you say she likes me? You know the answer, OF COURSE HE LIKES YOU! This might come as a shock, but guys can be a bit oblivious. You could shave your head and have your scalp covered in a dragon tattoo and, unless we’re really committed to you, we might not notice. This guy clears your driveway and makes you dinner because he noticed you were too busy to do either. Really? Really?! You need someone to point this out?

It sounds like your guy has wanted you for a while. I make fun of neurotic females on this blog all the damn time. That doesn’t mean guys aren’t just as crazy. He’s built you up to be this unattainable thing. He’s hoping he can get his foot in the door by being extra nice to you. Be careful, you don’t want him to slide into the friend zone. No one survives the friend zone. You need to throw him a bone. Take him dinner. Ask him out. You’re going to have to make it very clear that you’re asking him out. He might think it’s just two friends getting together. You do need to make your feelings apparent. If you really want to let him know that he revs your engine, next time he brings you dinner, answer the door naked. That will send a very clear signal. And you just might get lucky. Or he could tell you he’s gay and just wants to make sure you’re okay. If that happens I suggest you bury yourself in a cave on the moon. No friendship can survive an unwanted titty exposure.

Sincerely,

Horndog

Do you have a question for me? Shoot me an email at horndogrocks@gmail.com

Horndog is a character in the upcoming romance novel,

Never Say Just, by Katie Harper. He likes to blow shit up,

make inappropriate jokes, and flirt with anything that has a pulse.

Horndog's favorite hobby is making Kat "Hell Kat" Boudreaux's

life as uncomfortable as possible.