Thursday, May 17, 2012

Meet Shooter!!

Harper's Note: When I received Shooter's questionnaire several things were crossed out, added to, or just plain deleted. Horndog got his hands on Shooter's answers and "made them cooler". I have included both Shooter and Horndog's answers. Because I like to see grown, musclely men fight.


Bio: Shooter is strong, silent, and deadly. He is the highest ranking enlisted member of the team and the Rat Bastard's sniper. Shooter has more kills than any other sniper in his regiment and has been awarded the Silver Star, three Purple Hearts, and the Navy Cross. Shooter has no family. His parents died in a house fire just after he joined the Marine Corps. He has no brothers or sisters. The Rat Bastards are everything to Shooter. He will die protecting them. Shooter is honest, holds his integrity as his most valuable asset, shows compassion to everyone, and has no idea what the word “fail” means.

Character Bio Questionnaire

Name: You haven’t earned it.

Rat Bastard Name: Shooter

How did you get your Rat Bastard name? I’m a sniper. (He’s a wicked awesome dealer of death! –Horndog)

Occupation: Marine, Sniper, Co-Owner of Archer International. (But his number one job is to keep Hell Kat from unleashing on an unsuspecting populace. –Horndog)

Relationship Status: In a relationship (I wouldn’t classify his relationship with Hell Kat as a relationship. He holds Hell Kat’s leash and we all have pledged our undying loyalty to him for his efforts in extending the average Rat Bastard lifespan.  –Horndog)

Age: 33 (His soul is around 157. –Horndog)

Hair Color: Brown (Sissy says it’s chocolate brown, brown is brown. –Horndog)

Eye Color: Blue (Sissy says they’re Mediterranean blue. She’s an artist so I am totally not jealous about her going on and on and on about Shooter’s damn eyes. –Horndog)

Height: 6’5” (Too damn tall. Anyone taller than me is too damn tall. –Horndog)

Weight: 280 (Yeah, right! Closer to 325 of solid freaking muscle. I mean, the guy’s, like, a brick wall encased in concrete wrapped in steal and plated in titanium. Hell Kat calls him the Rhinoceros for a reason people! –Horndog)

Motto: You’ll be dead before you hear the shot. (You’ll be dead before your brain has time to register something has gone amiss. –Horndog)

Distinguishing Marks: Force Recon Marines don’t disclose distinguishing marks. (He has a scar on his forehead from taking a header off a park bench when we all got wasted in Germany and I know he has a few other scars but I’m not going to tell you where they are. –Horndog)

What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist?
A slight recoil
Favorite Weapon: M40A5 Sniper Rifle (Otherwise known as The Sickle of Death –Horndog)

Best Friend: Horndog (Maybe not after he sees this blog post. -Horndog)

Worst Enemy: I don’t have any, they’re all dead. (Uh, yeah. –Horndog.)

Last Song Played On My iPod: Back in the Saddle, Aerosmith (He’s lying. It was Girl’s Just Want to Have Fun. He was totally jamming to it with Sam. –Horndog)

Favorite Movie: An Affair to Remember. It helped me and Kat get over some stuff. (Seriously? Seriously? Dude, hand over your man card, right the hell now! –Horndog)

Favorite Quote: “Integrity is doing that thing which is right, when no one is looking.” -Col. Colin Lampard, USMC (That pretty much sums up Shooter.  –Horndog)

Last Facebook Post: Drinking fake tea with Sam. (Wearing a pink feather boa, diamond tiara, and waving his pinky in the air like a fairy. I have pictures. They are for sale. –Horndog)

Ten things you should know about Me:

K, so Shooter’s ten things were totally boring. He put stuff like, “I love Kat Boudreaux” and “I’m a Marine”. No shit Sherlock, we could have figured that out on our own. So I deleted his list and wrote my own.You're welcome.  -Horndog

10. I can be fun. I’ve been fun before, like twice.

9. I am always calm. I have to be. I’m sleeping with the Handmaiden of Satan.

8. Horndog is the awesomest person on the planet. When I grow up I want to be just like Horndog. For Halloween, I’m going to dress up as Horndog.

7. I don’t get mad. Anger messes with my breathing and if I can’t control my breathing I can’t kill as efficiently.

6. There is nothing as rewarding as seeing an enemy’s brain turn into a pink mist through a 10X scope.

5. I wasn’t born. I was assembled from spare tank parts.

4. I have gone days without blinking. Those palace guards with the funny hats in England have nothing on me.

3. I drive slower than Miss Daisy, unless I’m being shot at, then I drive like Mario freaking Andretti.

2. I carry a gun at all times. On the rare occasion that I don’t have a gun, like when I’m in the shower or being operated on, I will sick my Hell Kat on you. You’ll wish I’d used a gun.

1.  THE RAT BASTARDS ARE THE BEST DAMN GROUP OF GUYS ANY MARINE COULD HOPE TO BE FIGHTING WITH! Especially Horndog, Horndog is the greatest Marine since Chesty Puller.

I have altered and added to Shooter’s questionnaire. I do not know if Harper will keep it cool or go with the boring Shooter version. If she keeps it cool I will probably be dead. Totally worth eating a bullet.

*I showed Shooter Horndog’s alterations. This is what happened when Shooter found out.

Shooter:    Dog, what the hell is this?
Horndog:  Uuuhhh, nothing.
Shooter:    It looks like you rewrote my questionnaire.
Horndog:   I didn’t rewrite it, I improved it.
Shooter:    I didn’t know it needed improving.
Horndog:   It was fine, if your goal was to make people think you're a Marine issue robot.
Shooter:    Hey Horndog, bite me.
Horndog:  That’s what your mother said.
Shooter:    My mother wouldn’t come near you without a hazmat suit.
Horndog:   Whatever! I could get your mother, your sister, and your girl begging me to bite them, at the same damn time.
Shooter:    Really?
Horndog:   You heard me.
Shooter:    Kat, Kat, Horndog has something he wants to tell you. *Shooter leaves the room headed toward Hell Kat*
Horndog:   Shooter, Shooter, hey Shoot, I was just kidding. Come on man. Don’t tell….shit.

Sometimes I feel like a kindergarten teacher.


  1. I cannot wait for June 19th!!! Have I told you lately how much I love the way you write? No? Shame on me! You are so talented and I am so happy that this is finally happening for you.

  2. I believe I like him. I can't wait to read your book!

  3. Awesome, I am so anxious to read about this amazing group. Keep Rocking Katie. :)

  4. Fraeking AWESOMESAUCE!!

    Katie -- I heart you. For reals, yo.