You know that movie Snakes on a Plane? The one where everyone is peeing themselves because some idiot released a bunch of snakes onto a plane. Yeah, that one. Pretty scary stuff. Vipers and asps snapping at your ankles. At least that’s what I think it’s about, I haven’t actually seen it. I think the people who fly on airplanes are far more horrifying. I’m not talking terrorists. Yes, their scary. You’re pretty much guaranteed an explosive death with a terrorist. Regular passengers can drag their torture out for hours.
|Why do I always have|
to sit next to this guy?
You’ll find several personalities on an airplane. You have you’re I’m extremely busy business men. The I rolled out of bed and ran to the airport in my pjs and slippers people. The I really want to join the mile high club flyers. The white knuckle riders. The I want my free drinks, peanuts, flight wings pin, pillow, blanket, pain reliever, and anything else I have coming to me group. And the bane of every flyer, the single parent with four kids under the age of ten demographic. Mr. Busy will continually use his cell phone in flight. The pajama people will drool all over you for three hours. You’ll be afraid to go into the restroom after the mile highers. The white knuckler with grab your knee in a death grip Darth Vader could be proud of every time they think they hear the engine tone change. The gimme gimmes will call the flight attendant so many times they bungie cord his arms to the arm rest. And the single parent will have begged, bribed, drugged and possibly beaten their kids into submission, their voice raising an octave every time they have to tell one of their kids to sit down and shut up. Really, every ticket should come with a year’s worth of therapy to counteract the PTSD resulting from surviving a trip through the friendly skies.
|If you're happy and you|
share you meds
In my humble opinion, I think every passenger should be given a handful of sedatives and hooked up to a catheter upon boarding the plane. Imagine, arriving to your destination calm, cool and slightly hung over without suffering the trauma of the above listed airport patrons.