Thursday, August 11, 2011

The Switch Interview

Sadly, this is the last of the Rat Bastard interviews. Don't worry, you'll still be hearing from them, just in a different way.

Switch and the Rat Bastards

*The library is quiet. No one really likes Switch and no one wants to piss him off.*

Hell Kat: Since all of you are being a bunch of little girls, I'll start. Switch, I trust you with the safety of my daughter. Tell me, if I were to pose a threat to her, what would you do?

Switch: Cut your throat.

Hell Kat: Good answer.

Horndog: Switch, did your mother not hug you as a child?

Switch: I never had a mother.

Horndog: So, that's a no then.

Doc: Switch you're known for your proficiency with  blade. How did you come by this skill?

Switch: Practice.

Doc: Can you elaborate?

Switch: *Switch pulls a dagger from his belt and throws it in the air* Practice.

Tongue: You are Sam's bodyguard. What else are you?

Switch: I don't know what you're talking about.

Tongue: Don't lie! I saw you the other day carrying her around like you're a pony.

Switch: I will do anything to keep Samantha safe.

Tongue: How does doing a Mr. Ed impersonation keep her safe?

Switch: The question you should be asking is, why are you stupid enough to ask a question that will only end with your internal organs spilled out on the floor.

Tongue: I get it. Say no more.

Shooter: My turn. Switch, why are you the best choice to guard Samantha?

Switch: Because I will do whatever is necessary to protect her from anyone. If anyone has the slightest inclination of  putting her in harms way, I will carve their heart out of their chest. Even if that threat is any of you.

Horndog: Can you feel the love? I'm feeling the love.

Switch: I'm done. Sam's waiting for me.

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