Tuesday, September 20, 2011

What is a Friend?

According to ancient philosophers, a good friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. In the last decade or so the definition of friend has changed. According to Facebook, I have 1968 friends. In real life I might have thirty friends, if I count all my brothers, my sister, brother in law, and sisters in law. Some of my Facebook friends have become real life friends, but the majority I know only from what they post in my news feed. 

I would like to ask a question, is a Facebook friend a real friend? The dictionary defines a friend as a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard. I post on Facebook A LOT. Probably more than any sane person should. I usually post sarcastic, witty comments. I have received dozens of messages from people who say, “You make me laugh every day,” or “I really needed to laugh today”. I bring a snicker to the hearts of 1968 people every day. Does that make me a friend? Maybe. Now, I can’t be the Energizer Bunny of happiness. I have bad days. I rarely post that I’m having a crappy day. I figure most people are having a bad day. They don’t need me to remind them how much they’d like to sew their boss’s face to the carpet. When I informed the Facebook world that my nephew had died “friends” from all over the world sent messages of comfort. They wanted to lift me up through my family’s tragedy. Did their condolences help? Heck yeah they helped! 


 I have made some very dear friends on Facebook. Friends who cheer me up when I’m down, celebrate in my successes, support me in all my endeavors, make me laugh, and are just dang good people to have in my life. I have a friend who exemplifies the meaning of friend. When I play the poor picked on me little girl, he smacks me on the back of my virtual head and pulls me off the pity pot. He makes me see the situation clearly and realize that it isn’t as horrible as I have made it out to be. He lets me know when I’m being an idiot, when I’m amazing, and when I’ve crossed a line. Is he a true friend even though we chat in a virtual world? Simply put, yes he is.




12 comments:

  1. Without a doubt, Facebook friends can be real friends. In fact, those I have met via FB or even Twitter have turned out to be better friends than those in real life. I've been able to connect with people who know the real me. They've accepted all of my quirks and love me because of them. It's nice to finally have people I can turn to who support me and give me verbal buttkickings when needed. They've honestly helped me to achieve my dreams and become a better person.

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  2. Excellent post. Although I have never, and probably will never, met most of the people on my 'friends' list I still count them as real friends.

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  3. Gotta tell ya this, years ago I would have laughed at such an idea. A "friend" you've never met and never heard. How silly, I would have thought. NOW, well, now I know how important our virtual world friends are. I love so many of the people I have never met, it's ridiculous. Yes, Virginia, FB friends can be REAL freakin' friends. Great post, my friend!

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  4. I agree, Katie. I really really do agree. I'm so glad you're my friend and I cannot wait to meet you face to face at RT! You have my back and I've got yours! Like they say, a true friend will not give you bail money to get out of jail, they will be sitting right beside you. xo

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  5. AWESOME post!!! and I think FB friends do make wonderful friends. Between an online reading group i joined last year and my facebook friends, I had all kinds of support, kindness and words of wisdom to help me survive my only child graduating HS and moving away to college last year, leaving me a single empty nester. This is so awesome I am going to post your link on my facebook and my blog's facebook. (let me know if you'd rather I not)

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  6. There is an old adage about how we can't choose our family, but we can choose who are the people we call friends. I totally agree with Eden, there are people on FaceBook who I feel closer to than people I've known in the "real" world for years.

    Yes, there are some know-it-all, self-righteous people on FaceBook just like in the real world, but I don't call those people my friends. My FB friends accept me the way I am and most importantly, they don't sit in judgement of me.

    I have shared some personal secrets with a few of my FB friends that I've never told anyone in the 'real world'. They support me and they kick me in the butt when I need it - which is often.

    I have too many "dear" FB friends to list them all in this comment, and I don't want to leave out anyone. However, since this is Katie's Blog, I'll say that she has been a 'dear' friend to me from Day 1. She is quite the individual and I thank the Universe each day for bringing her into my life.

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  7. Benjamin Russell, RIGHT BACK AT YA'!!

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  8. I've met some really great people on facebook and some have become my good friends and I speak to them over video or telephone regularly now. The internet has the power to bring people together who otherwise would never meet. I've met some great people and I'm grateful every day to have them in my life.
    I think with any relationship whether it's on-line or otherwise, there are feelings involved. When we post things on our lives, there is always someone who can relate and therefore we don't feel so alone in the world.

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  9. Many, many years ago, my Aunt told me about her online friends. It was before I bought my first computer, so I found the idea of making friends online completely foreign. Even when I did get a computer, I stayed off the social sites because of the horror stories I heard about social sites. I thought "what kind of a no-life person makes friends online?" Well...I know the answer to that question now. That would be people just like me... I love my online friends. I've been burned a couple of times, but for the most part, I love my online experiences.

    Great blog! I'm a follower now.

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  10. Loved this article and I love my FB friends..like you I have a lot but am seriously close with many of them and have met a few in "the real world" lol This is great, your friend Benjamin directed me here. Janet

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  11. I think it's amazing how people can connect and never have met. My online friends and critique buddies are sometimes better friends than my physical friends. Hmm. Maybe I tend to hang out with them more. Or is it that we have more in common? Live in the same kind of world? A writers world that is. ;>

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  12. Great post! I would say, yes you can make good friends on facebook or other social networking sites. Especially when it seems you get to know them on a personal level first--without actually seeing them, most times never hearing them--there are no stereotypes or pre-judgements from the actual seeing and hearing them as in real life. You kind of get to know people from the inside out. I find it rather intriguing--kinda like soul meeting. LOL.

    Cheers, Jenn

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