Thursday, November 10, 2011

What Women Really Want

In Response to Horny Wednesday

Yesterday, Horndog wrote a post on what men think women want. A couple of the women of Boudreaux House took offense and would like a chance to voice their opinion. Since I know Hell Kat didn’t beat the crap out of Horndog, I’ve decided to let them vent.

What Women Really Want
By Katharine Boudreaux and Sissy Renaud

We take offense at Horndog’s blog post yesterday. Women aren’t some mythical creature imbued with mystical powers. Women aren’t as complicated as he made us out to be. In fact we’re really quite simple.

First of all, we don’t expect men to charge in on a white war horse and rescue us. Most women are perfectly capable of rescuing themselves. Yes, we all have ridiculous fantasies but we have absolutely no expectation of them ever becoming reality. In fact, most of the fantasies would only create horrible awkwardness in real life. What we’d like is for a guy to just be honest with us. Cut the theatrics and say, “Hey, I like you. I’d like to spend time with you. Would you like to spend some time with me?” It’s that easy guys. No decoder ring necessary. And if you try to be our friend first, we will never sleep with you. It would be like sleeping with our brother. Make your intentions known from day one. Don’t just assume we’ve picked up on your stealth ninja moves. We don’t want to be blowing alien hordes to smithereens on Xbox with you one day and facing a path of rose petals through our bedrooms the next day. That path will only lead to tears….on your part, hysterical laughter on ours.

Second, we do NOT want a Meg Ryan romantic comedy life. We can’t be that perky all the time! And there is absolutely no need to read our minds. How about you ask us? I know, it’s a crazy concept but direct questions have been known to receive direct responses. We aren’t trying to make your life miserable, we just don’t want to say something that will make you turn and run.  Have you ever thought that maybe we’re just as nervous being around you as you are around us? Have you taken one second to think that the reason we stress over that dress is because we want to impress you. We want you to think that we’re the type of woman you can take to bed and to meet your mother. You have it easy. All you have to do is smell nice and say nice things. We spend hours in the salon every freaking month to make ourselves look like something you’d want to sample. You’re routine consists of showering and shaving. So back off about what we choose to wear!! PS It is never a compliment to refer to any part of a woman as "Wookie"

Third, you aren’t the only one whose ultimate goal is a romp through the sheets. If women were totally honest, they’d admit that they think about jumping in the sack several times a day too. We’re just more discriminating with whom we choose to get rumpled. Men think quantity. Women think quality. Men think they can survive on McRibbs. Women want slow roasted baby backs with a bourbon honey glaze. It’s actually quite easy to become a woman’s favorite entrĂ©e. All you have to do is listen to what we say and how we say it, be direct, say nice things, and don’t leave us hanging when we do let you into our bed. That’s it. No big mystery.

Hell Kat and Sissy out.




6 comments:

  1. Me too. Loved it. Well said with conviction and honesty,

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  2. Stop dating fluff balls Horndog. I'm just sayin.

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  3. Okay I'll admit the middle is better. Sorry Horndog, but Hell Kat and Sissy have many good points.

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  4. Awesome! :) Ninja Hugs to you! ~M

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  5. Good job ladies, but still the horndog has his challenges! Insecurity does goes both ways and the guy usually has to worry about being rejected FIRST. The ladies have to worry about it AFTER. We probably didn't let him in our bed unless we thought he was a keeper. He got in our bed because we let him.

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  6. Drat, Jo! Such a harsh reality--and so darned true! Why couldn't you have told me that 20 years ago? lol!

    I ADORED this!

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